9 AM – 10 AM PST, Wednesdays beginning April 18, 2018
I’m happy to announce our newest class The Stage 2 Video Café which will begin April 18, 2018. This six-week online webinar will be hosted by Jennifer Olden, certified EFT therapist. During this series Dr. Kathryn Rheem, EFT trainer will share her deep and comprehensive knowledge of Stage 2. She will use her 8-hour video package to demonstrate the key interventions necessary to complete the EFT process.
We will discuss and DEMONSTRATE topics related to Stage 2 including:
- How much acceptance is necessary when you are deepening emotion with the withdrawer.
- The shift from shame to vulnerability to connection.
- When to do an enactment and when to deepen more.
- What to do when one or both partners get triggered in Stage 2.
- Understanding the difference between a deep Step 3 and a Step 5
- Difference between longings (Step 5) and needs (Step 7) in real time and why it matters.
You love Emotionally Focused Therapy.
The Externship was like a scientific discovery.
You signed up for Core Skills and called your partner about attending a Hold Me Tight couples workshop. You looked into the local EFT community. You commented tentatively and bravely on the EFT listserv. At dinner parties you informed everyone that emotional needs are wired in and nothing to be ashamed of.
You bought a chair with wheels, traded in your couch for two chairs. You carry a clipboard; your camera is set up and ready to record.
You have a renewed enthusiasm for your field. Then…
You fail. You have a failed session, a failed enactment, and a failed couple.
Then another, and another. OK, and another.
Then you get in a fight with your spouse and your mom and your best friend. You behave very badly. A member of one couple calls you and tells you that you don’t know what you’re doing and it’s obvious.
You may want to give up. Maybe that’s where you are right now: on the edge of the cliff, ready to give up on EFT right now.
But then you remember something deep down: The only thing that has ever been healing in your whole entire life was feeling loved and vulnerable in the exact same moment. And how that lit everything up inside of you. In that moment you were changed, and you can’t not know that love heals. Love sustains, inspires, protects, nourishes, gives meaning, and guides.
It’s that knowing which cannot be erased.
I’m here to anchor you to that deep recognition when things get tough in your office.
Every single EFT therapist has gone through a painful leg of the journey. I’ve been there, and I’m here to say I’m on the other side. That’s not to say I never feel frustrated or inadequate or triggered but overall I know how to get support when needed and trust the EFT map enough to get through the tough moments.
In general, this is what the other side looks like for me. This is where I want you to be.
- You experience the EFT high regularly. Your clients are vulnerable with each other and risk to reach for each other and respond to those reaches, and you feel like you are on sacred ground. You feel honored and touched that you are the guide in their journey. Couples fall back in love, renew their commitment to each other, and you are witness to the transformation.
- You have more private-pay clients than you know what to do with. You never have to worry about marketing to couples. They find you.
- You don’t wake up in the middle of the night thinking about your couples. You aren’t consumed in the same way with the worry and the fear that you aren’t enough.
- You are slower and less likely to clobber yourself in the face of couple escalation. You can find within yourself that center of secure attachment where you are calm and regulated and respond, rather than react, both during and after the session is over.
- Your relationship with your spouse improves. Your relationship with all your attachment people improves. You are armed with a map and understand the distress and can find your way out of it.
- Unexpected gifts include the ability to navigate other environments in your life because you now see things through an attachment lens, and that makes you more compassionate. You notice the thirst in everyone, and not just the drinking.
- You are easier on yourself. You have a greater tolerance for your mistakes.
In short, EFT is everything it’s cracked up to be. It’s worth it. You are on the right track.
My goal is to support you during the tough leg of the journey by 1) teaching you the necessary skills and 2) helping to connect you to other EFT therapists so you are less alone during the journey. It’s very difficult to learn an attachment therapy alone.
EFT will be painful at times. Luckily, pain doesn’t always mean you are doing something wrong. That original connection to the model will sustain you.
Jennifer Olden, MFT
California Marriage and Family Therapist
License # 42693
Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology,
California State University, Sacramento
Certified EFT Therapist, EFT Supervisor
International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy
Trained in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, Theraplay®, Sandtray Therapy, Art Therapy, Addiction Therapy